clearing out

Yesterday was a serious clearing out day We are having our entire house painted.  It hasn't been done since we moved in 18 years ago so it is way overdue.  And we are getting new carpeting which is  the same vintage as the paint.  I'm sure that the dog has dragged his ass over most of it!  Told my husband that we should have one wall painted a different color, you know, an accent wall.  He, being a curmudgeon and all, sneered and told me that was a strange idea.  I let it go, but when the painter came to give us an estimate, he said that we should have at least one wall that is an accent wall.  What do you know... I accepted his apology -- oh wait!  There was no apology!
So before the painting starts, we have to clean out all the rooms and moved the furniture into the middle of the room.  You know how, when you move, you have to go through all your stuff?  That's what this process has been like.  I'm sort of amazed at what I have chosen to keep all of these years.  Some of it, I knew was there, and I have kept for sentimental reasons.  But when I went through a bag of cards we received when Eli was born, I was at a loss to know who some of those people were!  It's always a surprise to me how frequently our associations with others can change.  But I also found some things that \brought tears to my eyes.  There are cards from my grandparents who have died and certificates of some bonds that people had  bought for Eli.  I had forgotten about those!  The bonds have all matured and are worth face value, and have been gathering interest (0.59%).  I think we now have a whopping total of an extra of $1.70 beyond face value!
Other things I got rid of are a grim reminder of things I cannot do any more.  High heels? Those all had to go.  Fancy dresses?  I don't have anywhere to wear those!  Plus I don't have any high heels to go with them!  You know what?  I kept my old tap shoes, though.  Maybe I'll paint them and use them as art pieces...
Yesterday I talked about clearing out negative thought.  One of the thoughts that keeps me from getting rid of things is, "you never know when you might need that!"  or, "that brings up memories.  If I get rid of it, I'm getting rid of the memories."  It's hard to think there are some things that I will never need again.  And it is sad, to think that  there are people who will no longer be in my life.
But I've been thinking that those ideas are negative thoughts in themselves.  How can I know that it's true that there are things that I will never do again?  How do I know that I will never be able to wear high heels again?  Why am I so distrusting of my memories than they need an item in order to keep those memories around?  You know I always could buy a new pair of high heels and I could take a picture of those mementos.  I am not a hoarder, but I am a collector and they always have to remind myself of the difference between a collectible and a dust collector. 
So, as many of my memories seem to be sitting in a garbage can or a donation bin, I have to remember that everything is temporary and that my experiences do not reside in my stuff.