Today I will walk you through the day in my life.
Even if you understand something intellectually, it is really hard to actually know what something is like unless you live it. You know how you think you know how your going to feel about something that you know is coming up? Like: this is what I'd do if I won the lottery... or I'll be so excited if I get that job, I know what to expect after the baby come... those kinds of things. But then when the event does happen, the feelings you have are still unexpected and the choices you make are totally different than what you thought.
That is what it's like to have MS.
So here's what my days like so you can just get a little taste. Oh yeah, and please don't say things like "I could never do what you do". You do what you have to do in any situation.
So let's start at night and sleeping. My sleep usually starts while I am sitting on the couch and watching television. Even if I really want to see the show, I'll start to fall asleep at about 9:30. Sometimes I blink and my eyes just never reopen! So when I start to realize that I'm falling asleep I don't fight it anymore, and just get ready for bed. I can fall asleep anywhere and at the drop of a hat. It's staying asleep that is the challenge. So no matter how much I limit liquids before bed, I almost always have to get up about one o'clock to pee. I can come back to bed and fall asleep again immediately, but around 2:30 I wake up because my neck is stiff or my back hurts. I change position and fluff up my pillow, but after that I just toss and turn a lot. I literally do not remember the last time I slept through the night. I sleep better in the winter than in a summer because the heat really impacts on me and even with the air-conditioning is on, I get too hot if it is not fridgidly cold in this house. Often times I end up sleeping in a big leather recliner chair we have because it's cool to the touch. So after tossing and turning for a couple of hours, I finally get up. I spend the early morning time blogging and working Sudoku puzzle. At about 6:30 and finally start to get myself ready for the day. I have to have coffee to take my 8000 pill (really it's only four pills it's a couple of Metamucil tablet and a vitamin. But it feels like 8000!)
A dent into my work-out clothes because I try to go to the gym at least five days a week. On Saturday I start to see clients at nine o'clock so don't really have time.
I have been an exerciser on and off my whole life. Since I am not at all athletic, and never have been, doing aerobics or calisthenics on my own has always been my only way of getting exercise. My workout routine varies according to how I feel and where I am parking. If the handicapped parking in front of the gym is taken then I know that I'm not going to to do the elliptical machine because I can barely walk afterI'm done with that. I actually started at Curves with all the other old ladies, but it started to have very limited results after the first year. So I upgraded to Cardinal fitness. Actually it was cheaper and open more frequently and had more choices for working out. And it's closer! I'm sort of sad that I didn't just start there! I have never been lacking in strength with the MS. It's not like muscular dystrophy or something that makes your muscles atrophy. It's about the connections in your brain not being made. So my muscles are plenty strong. I can do the weight machines because I don't have to stand up for most of them and I don't have to worry about my form being correct because it's a machine you sit on and go... so I try to work my abs almost every day and then I vary which machines I choose. I've actually gone from about 25 pounds on a curl machine to 55 pounds and can actually see a muscle now. I didn't used to be able to do the elliptical. I didn't have the balance. But now I can do at least a mile before my legs just give out.
When I'm done working out, I just set a trajectory for my car and pray that no one runs me down!
When I get home, I have to sit for about 20 minutes before taking a shower because I can't stand up long enough otherwise. I really love a hot shower, but I have to make sure I don't get too hot the whole day will be a crapshoot. After that my life is pretty boring because they don't have a full-time job. I won't bore you with the details of just sitting around doing nothing. I will tell you about what it's like to try to do stuff outside of my house.
There are times when I would like to go shopping or I need to go run errands. My life is all about choices at these times. Do I choose to go to the library instead of going to Walgreens to pick up a medication? If I did the elliptical machine this morning will my legs last long enough for me to be able to go to that big sale at Talbot's? Actually, the big sale always takes precidenc!
I gotta stop blogging for the day since my son is up and the dog is annoying me. So I will tell you more about day to day life tomorrow.
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