It's only the 2nd of January and I am already on a slippery slope of not wanting to write. I woke up late, (for me) and had physical therapy early, so my morning routine was all discombobulated.  And, truth be told, I am not all that interesting a person.  In other words, I ain't got much to say.

However, a goal is a goal, and I aim to make this one a habit.  I have heard conflicting info about how long it takes to form a habit- anywhere from five days to several weeks, but regardless of how long it takes, it won't happen unless it happens!
Since I am out of ideas, I think I will just talk about my new years goal of figuring out my career goal.

I love being a therapist.  I love connecting with people.  I love getting into their heads with them and sharing feeling and thought.  Sometimes, when I tell people what I do, they say,"Don't you get tired of listening to people's problems?"  Listening to people's problems is really the smallest part of what happens in a good therapeutic session.  A good session is so much more about relationship and empathy and unconditional positive regard.  Of course, it is also bout listening and knowing what questions to ask, and understanding human psyche.  A smaller part is understanding psychological theories and systems and how to use them.  Even though our whole system is geared toward treating a particular diagnosis, and you can even find books that tell you EXACTLY what to do for particular problems, it will never be effective if there is no real relationship with real empathy and genuine connection.  Of all the things that a good therapist needs, the ability connect and form a relationship is the most important.  This is the piece that cam't really be taught.  You either got it or you don't.

I am a pretty good communicator.  I'm a good student.  I can memorize and spit out all kinds of crap (except math).  I like to learn new information and I am fairly open minded about new stuff.  All of those thing help me a good therapist, too.

What I am not good at, it marketing.  I am not organized enough to keep track of billing crap and other things you need to be good at to run a successful business.  This is the stuff that I told me ex-business partner from the start.  This what I trusted her to manage.  This is the stuff she got mad at me for not doing.  Go figure...

Now I am at true crossroads. I love being a therapist.  I hate bushiness crapola.  I have a chronic illness that makes me tired keeps me from being able to maintain a public sector mental health job.  (Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't necessarily want to back to a 9-5 type job anyway.)

So right now, I am maintaining my tiny private practice in my smallish office, If there comes a time when no one wants to come any more, I will have to figure out what to do from there.  Then I will have to figure out what to do with what I am good at doing.  Until then, I will have to keep figuring out what that is, and trust that I will be able to make the best of whatever the future holds