Piggy Pate' and the Polyester  Purple Pantsuit


The rest of the year with Ms. Piggy seemed to get more and more contentious, but the worst conflict yet was regarding yearbook pictures.  I was, I don't remember how or why, the announcement reader.  Every morning, I went to the office at the beginning of second period to read the announcements over the intercom.  Sometimes I did "specials" which were mini advertisements for the new edition of the school newspaper, or the opening of the plays.  ( My friend Cindy and I got in trouble for some semi-off-color jokes a couple of times, but that another story...)

One day, I saw an announcement for drama club yearbook  photos after school.  Since there was an operetta rehearsal after school, I  figured this was an attempt by Miss Piggy to keep me and the other operetta cast members out of the picture.  I also felt as if setting up yearbook pics was my job as president and that I, at least, should have been told that it was happening.  Thinking about this now, I feel I was clueless, a little arrogant and overstepping my place as a student.  But, at the time. I felt perfectly within my rights to refuse to read the announcement until I had some clarity. 

What I remember about the aftermath is probably  skewed, but, somehow, I  ended up being called in to talk to Ms. Piggy and the other drama club sponsor.  I had an okay relationship with her, although  fraught with exasperation on her part.  She was angry and made the point that she had already set up the pictures and talked to Mr. Burkel to have permission for operetta people to be late.  She was understandably mad and was setting appropriate limits.  But Ms. Piggy made it personal and told me I was not special and that I had always acted too big for my britches.  I think she took out all her frustration with the whole program on me and it felt as if her goal was to break me and "put me in my place". 

Since then, I have had encounters with people who wanted me to feel small or who wanted me to grovel, and although upsetting, I am able to understand and manage such things.   But, as a kid who really felt pretty small and insignificant already, it was very puzzling and devastating.  I think that other kids in high school must have thought that  I had a lot of confidence.  When I look at pictures of myself from that time, I can see that I was pretty beautiful.  I see that I was very visible in school and successful in things like getting into plays or having solos in choir, but honestly, I was always surprised when those things happened.  I didn't see myself as one of the popular kids or as particularly cute.  When Ms. Piggy read me the riot act, it hit on all my worst feeling about myself.

I actually really wanted to write about this, even though I know it is not a funny, light hearted story.  I actually had a hard time remembering this incident, and a difficult time admitting my responsibility for all that happened with Ms.  Piggy.  I had my own "mean girl" moments with Ms. Piggy and wish I had been able to have things be different with her.  BUT, Ms. Piggy handled things poorly, too, and she was an adult. 

That day I went to rehearsal and used my feeling and emotions in my scene where I had to tell my father (Tevye) that I did not want to marry the matchmakers choice for me.  I cried for real and think I freaked Robert (Tevye) out a little.  But it ended up being a really good scene, and I thought about having Ms. Piggy come to chew me out and say mean thing every day before that scene!  No, not really.  If I were a better actor, I would have been able to conjure up those feelings on my own! 

Do you know, that after all that, I still tried out for the Spring play and was surprised that I didn't get in?  Duh!  I wasn't sure what I would do with myself without play rehearsals, but I think I had a pretty good time just hanging out with my friends and (gasp) getting homework completed!


There is one more chapter to the Ms. Piggy story.  Ms.  Piggy, whose last name also started with a P and sounded something like goose liver pate', had the unfortunate habit of wearing a purple pantsuit.  Not a good look...Every year, we had a drama club  awards banquet.  We had nominees ala the Oscars and the drama club voted for their choices for thing like best actor and best student director.  Part of the banquet was a student written skit which was a mash-up of all the years plays. I think we named it something like, the case of the purple pantsuit and made some not to subtle digs about Ms. Piggy.

Now, I think that would be a great title for a short story Piggy Pate and the Polyester Purple Pantsuit...