Nothing is ever easy.

That has been my motto for awhile now.  With MS even a small thing like buckling my seat belt or pouring soda into a glass can take on proportions similar to climbing Mount Everest.  However, even without MS, I still think nothing important  is easy, and if  it is, you are probably doing it wrong or leaving something out.  Easy is different than simple.  Reciting 2 +2=4 is simple.  Understanding what 2+2=4, takes some thought.

I have also decided that I am not really very nice.  Nice is easy.  Even the worst delinquents and sociopaths can be taught to be Nice.  It is simple to have a kneejerk nice response such as please and thank you.  It is simple to be nice by writing a check to charity or give a homeless person a dollar. 
But it takes effort to be kind.  I try to be kind and hope I am considered a kind person. 

Sometimes kindness requires you to not be nice.  People, especially women, are taught to be nice from childhood, but being kind is much more difficult to instill.

There are lots of rules to being nice and lots of judgments about nice behavior.  Sharing means you are nice.  Sitting quietly in your chair is nice.  Waiting till everyone is served before you eat is nice.  Nice is simple and clean and self focused.  It asks for approval.  "Did I do a nice job?"  It is observable. "Does this look nice on me?" It is teachable and can be demanded.    "Play nicely.  Share and don't run in the house."  Those are nice . Nice would like a payback.  "If I am nice to you, you should be nice to me."

Kind is much more difficult.  It is internal and intrinsic and not always obvious.  Kind demands empathy.  It requires restraint.  It is spontaneous.  It is taught, not through example alone, but through experiencing.  Kindness creates connection that lasts longer than it takes to say thank you because it is reciprocal.  It requires presence of mind and heart by giver which the receiver experiences at a much deeper level. 

A few years back, Oprah used passing out free coffee on the street as her random act of kindness.  This is not kindness,  It is a nice gesture.  It wasn't focused on others, really, as it had an ulterior motive for Oprah and the network.  Kindness does not have a desire for recognition or payback.  It is not resentful if the is no reward. 

I am not saying being nice is not important.  It is what keeps society from collapsing!  I am saying that kindness is much more basic and necessary for human existence. 

So I hope that I am kind and that when things are simple, I recognize that life requires effort in order to be something more than existing.  Life requires  connection to other through more than being nice.
I hope that I am kind and see beyond the outward needs of society.  I hope I see what others need in their hearts.  I hope I am able to, not just touch for a moment, but connect for a lifetime.