Hello again, poor little neglected blog.
I think I may have figured out a few things about why I have not been motivated to post. I am very firmly in the midst of my midlife crisis, exacerbated by having multiple sclerosis. I think midlife crisis, for me anyway, has to do with having to look at the fact that your ball is starting to roll downhill instead of up.
My son is graduating from high school in a few weeks. He's going off to college in a different state. I know I'll always be a mother, but my role as a mother will significantly change very soon.
I am also seriously downsizing my private practice. Rather than frantically trying to get new clients, I am trying to quietly maintain the ones I have and finishing up them without worries about replacing them.
Other people at age 50 may start to look forward to being able to retire, but it is still far enough into the future in order to feel like just a distant wish.For someone with multiple sclerosis, the future is very much now.
My body is failing me in ways that I should not have to deal with until I am much older or at all. I see people in their 70s traveling, spending time with the active hobbies...heck, just going to the mall and being able to walk to more than three stores without having to stop!
So my midlife crisis is this: how do I transition into the next phase of my life with integrity? How do I maintain relevancy without my role as a therapist trying to grow a practice? Growing my career, rather than downsizing my career has been my focus for my entire adult life. How do I continue doing... things that contribute?
Although I know that there are no new thoughts in the world, and in my writing voice is not stupendously great, I need to continue to explore my thoughts, to expand my subject matter, and remain connected to the world.
So poor little neglected blog, I am going to make a much greater effort to contribute to you, to find my voice, and create connections.
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